yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
