You're a womanizer and a bitch.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
