I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
