Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
You can't motorboat a personality
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
