Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
