The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
What drink are we having for lunch?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
