Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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