He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
