Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
should my penis look like a turkey
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
