is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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