You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Boobs speak an international language.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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