If i come over, it means nothing
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
