I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
