She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
We just shotgunned beers for America
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I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
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He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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