I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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