if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
