Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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