Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize