ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Your penis caused this!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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