I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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