so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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