I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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