Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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