guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
