never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
