currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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