Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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