Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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