i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
