his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
