I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
