That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
