all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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