My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
