Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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