I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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