Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
she smelled like a LAN party
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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