While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
