Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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