Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida

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(813): Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida http://tfl.nu/bfwv

Replies (30) Good night (3733) Bad night (1092)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest

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(609): I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest http://tfl.nu/t023

Replies (21) Good night (1405) Bad night (5520)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.

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(832): Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on. http://tfl.nu/m36i

Replies (16) Good night (1393) Bad night (5341)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

drunk tastebuds have low standards.

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(423): drunk tastebuds have low standards. http://tfl.nu/mx1k

Replies (6) Good night (3894) Bad night (1253)
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(763): View more from Minnesota

After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended

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(763): After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended http://tfl.nu/x97c

Replies (10) Good night (1459) Bad night (3936)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom

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(612): Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom http://tfl.nu/d012

Replies (5) Good night (1718) Bad night (829)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2

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(336): He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2 http://tfl.nu/rjqf

Replies (5) Good night (2240) Bad night (661)
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(956): View more from Texas

Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?

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(956): Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone? http://tfl.nu/ptfa

Replies (7) Good night (1197) Bad night (598)
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(563): View more from Iowa

I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?

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(563): I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor? http://tfl.nu/8nw2

Replies (12) Good night (1768) Bad night (538)
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(417): View more from Missouri

All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.

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(417): All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door. http://tfl.nu/d7kd

Replies (6) Good night (892) Bad night (544)
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(818): View more from California

Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.

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(818): Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless. http://tfl.nu/rncw

Replies (6) Good night (1017) Bad night (439)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper

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(303): I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper http://tfl.nu/1zv1

Replies (1) Good night (434) Bad night (647)
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(226): View more from Ontario

You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"

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(226): You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!" http://tfl.nu/6320

Replies (1) Good night (828) Bad night (410)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.

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(+44): Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later. http://tfl.nu/23tp

Replies (0) Good night (419) Bad night (373)
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(469): View more from Texas

I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry

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(469): I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry http://tfl.nu/w76m

Replies (2) Good night (495) Bad night (287)

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