seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
