Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?

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(419): View more from Ohio

Bisexual people are plain selfish.

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(707): View more from California

she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(315): View more from New York

His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.

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(575): View more from New Mexico

not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather

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(702): View more from Nevada

This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.

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(863): View more from Florida

you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...

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