it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
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Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
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So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar