i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle