wrigley field is MILF paradise
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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