oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now