I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
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