Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
