You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill