O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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