sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
