tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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