You really coming over, don't trick.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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