this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
