I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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