Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
