That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
