she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
