he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize