I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
