I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
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Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
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Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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