I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
