If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
