how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
