Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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