you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
