My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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