forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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