If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
