I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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