He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
