like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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