My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize